Messy bun, dry shampoo, old maternity leggings, baseball tee, no make up I sit here in all of my mom glory. I'm currently reliving every decision I've ever made over and over again in my head. Some days are like this, they happen more often now that I'm a mother. I think about each mistake I've made, what I said incorrectly, the things I should've done differently.
The truth is, I have a great life. I'm married to the love of my life and we have the sweetest baby boy. I'm surrounded by a strong community of friends. I'm also lucky enough to have a great relationship with my parents and family as well as my husband's family. I love what I do, I'm one of the few people in this life that can say their job is their passion.
So why do I feel like a failure? Why does something as simple as calling into work sick throw me for a loop?
Every day I talk to my students about growth mindset vs. fixed mindset. Fixed mindset says that my talents or abilities are as good as they're going to get. That there is a threshold, if I were to "fail" or make a mistake this just shows me that it's as far as I can go. Growth mindset says that a "failure" is an opportunity to grow, and in fact is not a failure at all. Growth mindset says, "I haven't figured this out yet!" It's the power of yet. It's the power of forgiving yourself. Believing that your mind is good soil, not hard concrete.
Today I'm stopping myself of these thoughts. Refusing to look at myself as a failure, instead I choose to forgive myself. Especially of things I cannot control. I think growth mindset goes beyond capability. It goes into our self perception.
Life isn't perfect but life is perfectly good.
-B.
